December 31, 2011
The end of one year and the beginning of another always causes me to stop and reflect on where I have been and where I am going. There is usually a sense of hesitation as I think about new beginnings and wonder what pain and joy I will find in the New Year. Sometimes I wish for the current year to keep going. It seems better to stay with what you know than to face the uncertain. However, even with the good things that happened in 2011, I do not wish for this year to go on. I am quite sure that whatever 2012 holds for me, that has to be better than what I have dealt with in 2011.
I don’t always wax spiritual in my conversation, but the last month has been horrendous. I happily admit my weakness and need of God in my life as it has been God that has kept me going as I deal with the hardest things I have ever dealt with. One of my favorite devotional books that I turn to every day is “The Daily Light on the Daily Path.” The reason I like this book is it is straight Scripture. No verse with someone else’s insight, no positive thought for the day from someone who has been there - just the words of God, written down by people like me, spoken to my heart by the Holy Spirit to encourage me in the exact way that I need to be encouraged. Here is today’s morning devotional:
“ ‘The Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.’ ‘I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself,’ - In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old. – Like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The Lord alone led him; no foreign god was with him.
‘Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and rescue you.’ – For this God is our God forever and ever, he will be our guide even to the end.
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. – ‘Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear….Your heavenly father knows that you need them.’ ‘Thus far has the Lord helped us.’ “
Deut. 1:31. Exodus 19:4, Isaiah 63:9, Deut. 32:11-12, Isaiah 46:4, Psalms 48:14, 55:22, Matthew 6:25, 32, 1 Samuel 7:12.
There could not have been a more perfect reading for me today and found myself encouraged as I read those words and let the meaning of them soak into my soul.
“The Lord your God carried you,” as I have dealt with my husband’s depression.
“The Lord you God carried you,” while I have dealt with the reality of betrayal and abandonment.
“In all their distress he too was distressed,” so when I cried, the Lord cried too.
“The Lord alone led him,” – God leading me as I realize I cannot stay in Ohio any longer.
“The Lord alone led him,” – God has directed me as I have evaluated my options and tried to figure out where to go.
“I will…rescue you,” as I realize how blessed I am and what an amazing support system I have.
“I will…rescue you,” as housing in New York is arranged.
“I am He who will sustain you,” as I pack up and move again – but alone this time.
“I am He who will sustain you,” as I look for a job and try to figure out how I am going to support myself.
“I am He who will sustain you,” as I try and sort out who I am and what my purpose is in this world.
No, I am not sorry to see 2011 end. And the consequences of other people’s decisions and there affect on me will never go away, so in that sense 2012 will be difficult. But as I have watched God protect, provide and encourage me through the last month, I know I can continue to count on Him.
For this God is my God forever and ever, he will be my guide even to the end. Amen!
