How To Find Balance

 I wish there was a one-size-fits-all answer to this question but sadly, there isn’t. One person’s too much is another person’s too little and the discussions around parameters are never ending. While the things I suggest may not work for everyone, in sharing what helps me, hopefully there is a piece that helps you and we can all make progress.

 

Firstly, balance is respectful of the desires of everyone in the house. Last week I shared some pictures of my husband’s office – he has a lot of stuff and there are lots of memories connected to his stuff. We do have conversations around what, of his things, don’t need to be kept anymore, but in what he wants to keep, we have, in some situations, built our décor around it. Fortunately for him, I don’t need or like having nothing on the walls, but if there is going to be something on the walls, it must be symmetrical. Our compromise was he picked all the pictures he wanted hung and I determined how they would go on the walls – everyone is happy.  

 Second, balance recognizes that getting rid of everything isn’t the goal. My goal is a comfortable, attractive home that feels welcoming to us and those who visit us. When I met Robert and first visited his house, he had wax burners all over his house and I loved that there was a little light in every room, and they made the house smell wonderful. It was such a small thing, but it created an air of coziness that I loved. My dad bought my mom a China cup and saucer every anniversary for 25 years – I have some of those and they are displayed on a hutch that belonged to my brother David’s first wife, Marcy. It makes me so happy to see them and have them as part of my life.  

 Thirdly, balance recognizes that you do have to prioritize. We have all seen those episodes of hoarders where the stuff is piled dangerously high and yet they refuse to get rid of anything. Now granted, there is usually some kind of severe trauma impacting their ability to let go of things and that is valid, but for most of us, there has to be a place where we recognize and acknowledge the amount of space we have and figure out how to live well in that space.

  

As I read back through this it seems reasonable and doable, but if your situation is like my situation, the biggest part of the problem isn’t your stuff, it is the stuff other people have left you to deal with. That’s a big topic all on its own, so that’s where I will start next time. 

Minimalism

Here we are – Sunday again, and as we prepare for another week, I am back at my #SimpleSunday blog. I probably should have thought more about the order of my posts, but when I first started sharing more on my blog, it was like grasping at straws looking for ideas and the second I had a thought that could be expounded upon, I went with it instead of planning things out. So, maybe I am jumping around a bit, but each post has been a piece in my process.

 

Organization has always been a thing for me but as I have gotten older, I feel like I have gotten worse at it. A very wise person I know told me that it truly does get harder. As you become more aware of the brevity of life, and as you start lose people and find you have emotions that are tied to things, it becomes harder and harder to get rid of things. I think a logical progression, and one I looked hard at, was becoming more minimalist in my approach, because of course, if you have less things it is easier to keep them organized. I bought books, read posts, and watched Netflix movies about minimalism, in an effort to figure out how to simplify my life and much to my surprise, I was disturbed by what I saw in minimalism. 

Everyone knows that hoarding is a psychological disorder and we know that having a lot of things can create dangerous and unhealthy living situations and what I have observed is that when something is determined to be bad, like a pendulum, people swing in the opposite direction and think that’s better. But I feel like minimalism is the opposite end of the same bad stick. 

 

With the exception of books, I really like my books, I could probably get rid of a lot of things and live quite happily, but not everyone is like that. My husband lost his mom when he was 12 and has only his oldest brother left out of 3 brothers, parents, and grandparents – he still has a train his mom bought him before she died and he has numerous other things connected to family that he is very attached to. He will not get rid of them, and I am not asking him to let go of those things. 

You see, I watched as people talked about owning two backpacks full of stuff and how it made them nervous to acquire more than that as they wanted to be able to pick and go anytime they wanted. Yes, it was easy for them to pick up and go, but they had no roots, no grounding, and in some situations the desire to be minimalist was in conflict with what other family members wanted – some of it struck me as just as unhealthy as too much stuff. 

That’s when I realized that I want - what I think most people want is balance and balance is hard to quantify. That’s why there are so many self-help books on organization and simplifying your life – because what qualifies as too much or too little is different for everyone and the solutions to the problem are just as varied.

 

It was a relief to realize that getting rid of everything wasn’t the answer for me – a minimalistic life felt like one more unreachable goal, but balance, balance feels more attainable. How I achieve balance will be part of the topic next time. 😊 

 

Late to the Game

So, it’s #watchathinkinWednesday and this week I am thinking about how I am always running behind. Not as in late, but as in finding the cool thing years after everyone else. Like songs – I haven’t always been crazy about country music, but last year I heard a song that I loved. I looked it up and yup, https://youtu.be/8PvebsWcpto 10 years old. The movie Tombstone is 30 years old and when did I first see it? Three years ago, hmmm, and yes, I initially watched under duress only to discover that wow – everyone else was right! Go figure. It is the same for this book I am currently reading.

A friend suggested the book  – he thought the message would resonate and it does. I mentioned the book to my cousin last week and guess what? Yeah, she has already read it, but since it came out in 2015, I guess I am not surprised. 

 

Always late to the game? No, I don’t feel like I am – I am happy to get to the game whenever I arrive. I have been late a lot and yet, I am right on time for me. If I would have read the book when it came out, I wouldn’t have gotten out of then what I am getting out of it now.

 

So, maybe I am late to the game, but at least I have showed up. 

 

 

Big Changes

Here we are – another Sunday, so another post on #simpleSundays. A couple weeks ago I mentioned my trick of writing down 3 things - 3 things I need to get done once I get home from work to make the most of my time and increase my productivity, and how it is actually working for me. But as I thought about it, I realized there was something pretty important about my 3 things that I didn’t share. 

 

The beginning of December I changed my eating habits drastically. Around Thanksgiving I found a mass in my rib cage and it scared me. I immediately went to see my doctor and she thinks it is a lipoma (fatty tumor and they are benign), and ordered an MRI, which for various reasons hasn’t happened yet. However, the mass and just generally feeling terrible was the motivation I needed to make some necessary changes. I started off following a carnivore diet. Yes, that’s right – meat only, and it turned out to be great place for me to start. 

 I had no idea how food was affecting me, and I feel foolish for admitting that – it seems like such an obvious thing, but when I had food I shouldn’t have eaten and then was depressed for days afterwards, I knew where it stemmed from because there was only one thing that had changed. It was the same with energy levels – eat lots of carbs and I go into nap mode. And that isn’t even considering inflammation and joint aches and pains. 

 

I mention this because if I wouldn’t have changed my eating habits then, I wouldn’t be coming home from work and doing anything except crashing on the couch. I can expect to do something when I get home, because I have more energy to get things done. 

 

I follow more of a Keto diet now, but still with very limited carb intake. I have done a lot of research and take a lot of vitamins and specific supplements to make sure I am supporting my body. Have I lost of lot of weight? Nope, I haven’t. My physical body has had a hard time of it the last few years and healing it, through diet and supplements and gentle exercise, is going to take time.

Yes, I will continue to watch what I eat, I will keep measuring and logging my food, I will keep following a Keto diet because I feel so much better, and because I feel better, I am getting things done! 

Keeping it Simple

 Do you struggle with organization? I didn’t used to, but a bum hip for a couple years, and a husband who needed both knees replaced, and yup, the house got out of control. When you add that to working, helping out with my grandkids, and being involved with family and it’s hard to know how to catch up. 

 

I will admit to sometimes being an impulse buyer and one Saturday while grocery shopping, I saw a calendar-planner and bought it. I had no idea what I was going to do with it, but lofty dreams of order amidst chaos hooked me, so I brought it home and stuck it in my purse. 

Monday morning, after getting to work, I grabbed it, got my cup of coffee and opened it up to see how inspiration would hit me. I suppose it was partially being frustrated at being at work and having so much to do at home – I am never so motivated to work around my house as when I am at work. 😂 But I realized this little planner could help. I decided I would start writing down 2 or 3 things that I wanted to get accomplished when I got home and see if I could get those things done. Now there were some criteria: 

 

1.     It had to be a quick task – able to be completed is a few minutes – no longer than 10.  

2.     It had to help my overall goal of household organization – I tend to get sidetracked easily and can get lost organizing my drawers, which is great, but not obviously needed.

3.     If it doesn’t get done, there’s always tomorrow.

 

That was it. 

 

The things that get done are crossed off, and anything that doesn’t get done moves to the next day. And I found, after a couple days, that some afternoons when I got home, there was something else that also really needed to get done, so I would do that, but I added it to my list, to help remember what I actually accomplished. 

 No guilt, no pressure, no long projects. 

 

It is so simple, but has been incredibly helpful in my organization and productivity. My biggest project right now is a mess – literally overwhelming. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into that room to start working and walked back out because I didn’t know where to start. In scheduling my tasks, I have focused on that room and while it is still pretty bad, this method is helping me restore order, one quick, focused task at a time.