How To Find Balance

 I wish there was a one-size-fits-all answer to this question but sadly, there isn’t. One person’s too much is another person’s too little and the discussions around parameters are never ending. While the things I suggest may not work for everyone, in sharing what helps me, hopefully there is a piece that helps you and we can all make progress.

 

Firstly, balance is respectful of the desires of everyone in the house. Last week I shared some pictures of my husband’s office – he has a lot of stuff and there are lots of memories connected to his stuff. We do have conversations around what, of his things, don’t need to be kept anymore, but in what he wants to keep, we have, in some situations, built our décor around it. Fortunately for him, I don’t need or like having nothing on the walls, but if there is going to be something on the walls, it must be symmetrical. Our compromise was he picked all the pictures he wanted hung and I determined how they would go on the walls – everyone is happy.  

 Second, balance recognizes that getting rid of everything isn’t the goal. My goal is a comfortable, attractive home that feels welcoming to us and those who visit us. When I met Robert and first visited his house, he had wax burners all over his house and I loved that there was a little light in every room, and they made the house smell wonderful. It was such a small thing, but it created an air of coziness that I loved. My dad bought my mom a China cup and saucer every anniversary for 25 years – I have some of those and they are displayed on a hutch that belonged to my brother David’s first wife, Marcy. It makes me so happy to see them and have them as part of my life.  

 Thirdly, balance recognizes that you do have to prioritize. We have all seen those episodes of hoarders where the stuff is piled dangerously high and yet they refuse to get rid of anything. Now granted, there is usually some kind of severe trauma impacting their ability to let go of things and that is valid, but for most of us, there has to be a place where we recognize and acknowledge the amount of space we have and figure out how to live well in that space.

  

As I read back through this it seems reasonable and doable, but if your situation is like my situation, the biggest part of the problem isn’t your stuff, it is the stuff other people have left you to deal with. That’s a big topic all on its own, so that’s where I will start next time.