Living Well!

February 1, 2012

Doing well.

I love to read!!  I have always loved to read and while I see the practicality of online books, there is something special about curling up on the couch with my coffee and book.  Curling up with my coffee and an iPad just isn’t the same.  Right now I am going between several books.  I am reading (very slowly) Augustine’s City of God, Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer, and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  

This morning I was reading from One Thousand Gifts and the author made a statement that really made me stop and think.   She said, “I just want time to do my one life well.”  I started to think about what that statement means for me.

“I just want time…”  Time passes so quickly.  I amazed to look at my children and realize they are 21 and 18 (almost 19.)  I talk to my son on the phone frequently and listen as he shares the events of his day and his thoughts and dreams and I feel blessed that he wants to share those things with me.  I share an apartment with my daughter and love that she comes in and sits on my bed and shares the events of her day and asks what I think about this situation, or shares some of her inner uncertainties with me looking for guidance, understanding, and the assurance that her concerns are the same ones everyone else has.  Again, I am honored that my children still desire my input in their life as I know not all children feel that way about their parents.  Yes, I home schooled my kids and yes, I spent a lot of time with them and yes, I am glad I stayed home with them.  But yes, I also regret that keeping the house clean had a higher priority in my life than maybe it should have had.  Yes, while I enjoyed church music and while it was fulfilling to me personally, there were many nights where my kids were left to entertain themselves at church while I practiced with the worship team.  I regret that I did not have a better sense of what was truly important.   I regret that I pushed them to hurry through tasks and paid more attention to the clock (sometimes) than what was important to them.  I cannot get any of that time back; it is gone.

“…to do…” It has been said that trying something and being unsuccessful in accomplishing our goal is not a failure; it is only failure if we never try.  There are lots of things I would like to do: learn how to do this, read that, travel here, etc.  The list is long.  Most of those things will never get done and that is okay.  While the items on my list may be neat and fun or something cool to brag about they also may not fit with the overall priorities of my life, so I will choose to let those things go.  But the item “exercise regularly” is one of the things that does fit with my overall goals in life and yet, it does not become a priority, “to do.”  Other things – those things that fit my life’s goals, are hard for other reasons.  Life has a way of beating us down and survival – the need for food and shelter, are exhausting.  Sometimes we end up with people in our life, whether by choice or by circumstance, who try and convince us we can’t; whose insecurities are so great they are immensely threatened at the thought that maybe, we can.  The truth is that it may not be possible for us to accomplish everything we want (remember, life still happens), but we CAN do a lot more than others, and maybe ourselves, think we can. 

“…my one life…”  And there is the heart of the matter.  There is a term in the game of golf for a “do over;” it called a mulligan.  If you hit a bad shot you take a mulligan and try again.  (No, I do not play golf.  But I have watched several movies about golf/golfers and heard the term and it was such a funny word it was hard to forget.)  The thing is, life does not give us any do-overs.  We may sometimes may get another chance to make things right, but there is no going back and undoing what has already been done.   I had one shot at raising my kids.  I get one chance to bite my tongue when I am angry.  I get one chance to respond with integrity in the middle of some of the crappy situations life throws at you.  And I get one chance to run away when temptation is standing in front of me.

“…well.”  Well can be defined in many ways.  If someone behaves well it means they have behaved in a good and proper manner.  When someone does something well it means they are skillful and proficient in what they are doing.  And if someone does well it means they have successfully and effectively accomplished a goal or purpose. The thing about doing well or living well is that people define it differently.  To some it means living in particular neighborhood, achieving a certain status in their job, or being wealthy.  So in order to live my life well I have to first determine what “well” means for me.  My definition of “well” will determine my core values and upon determining my core values, I am able to set priorities for my life. 

“I just want time to do my one life well.”  So what does this statement mean to me?  It means that I am going to remember that the joy is in the journey not arriving at whatever I think the destination is.  In a world enslaved by the clock, I am going to take time to appreciate sunsets, flowers, and to value time spent with friends.  There will always be things life requires, but in the middle of trying to survive I am going to take a few chances.  I am going to pick a few goals and work towards them; I am going to remember that not trying is the true failure.   It means I am going to remember that life is over too quickly.  I will say, “I love you,” when I have the chance, I will make more of an effort to let go of offenses and forgive the offenders, and since I realize that it is not my job to help or be friends with everyone, there are some people who will not be a part of my life.  And how would I define living well?  To have a job I enjoy even if I don’t make a lot of money, to have people that are “safe” around me, to be able to see my kids as often as possible, to be an encouragement and make a difference to those within my sphere of influence, to act with integrity, and to walk in humble partnership with God.  These are the things that are important to me.  These are the things I am going to focus on.  These are the things I am going to try to do.  

“I just want time to do my one life well.”